I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
