Welp...herpes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
