Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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