You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
