Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
