what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
