Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
