There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
