You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
