my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is classic penis vs brain.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
