I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
