You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
