is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
