Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My pussy is not your playground.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
