What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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