doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
