I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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