U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
