Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
