well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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