i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
