Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
