No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
