So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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