You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
