I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
