Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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