I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
