I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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