I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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