You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
