I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
