Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
