Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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