We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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