Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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