I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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