two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
