ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
