is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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