As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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