I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
