this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
