I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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