but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
