If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
