just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
