k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
