dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he thought i was a dude.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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