Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
